Choking

Don't be alarmed. No one has choked literally in my family. The title of today's post is an example of figurative language at work. It's a comparison, I suppose, of the person who is under pressure to produce desirable results in a situation, then fails to do so. I'm unsure where the roots of this idiom were derived, but somehow it seems appropriate for performers.

I had a golden opportunity to shine on Saturday night. I was scheduled to play my electric guitar and harmonica and sing, along with another female performer, to the recognizable song "Brown Eyed Girl": a song I performed for the talent show last year with a friend of mine, which I've played dozens and dozens of times. A song with which I should be so familiar, were I to need to, I should be able to play in my sleep. You see where this is going.

Somehow, at one point during the song, I lost track of my guitar chord progression and faltered. The result was first an awkward guitar sound, muted partially by my hand, and secondly a silent pause in the music which lasted the length of a beat or so. A breakdown big enough for me to acknowledge it to the audience by smiling broadly like an idiot and apologizing to the audience in the microphone with a "sorry, that was me". We went on to finish the song relatively strongly.

It's probably no big deal to anyone else. I know, however, that if it were a competition for a prize, that would have been enough to keep me out of the winner's position. Who knows when I'll have that opportunity again. Something so easy, so familiar, and I let my nerves get the best of me and I fumbled in order to relieve my nerves. It's a mental thing I need to overcome.

Jack has been overcoming a fever and upset stomach lasting a few days. Leo has learned how to climb out of his crib. Both boys are a blast and full of personality. Things are going along. Marian's healthy and working hard as ever to keep the house in order. It must be tough for her to live in a house with three boys.