Well, there's good news to be told. One of my cousins will be married next month. My other cousin will be having a baby and get married, both in September. Now, I don't care who you are, that's good news! If you want a gritty realistic worldview that provides no room for good news and happy endings then go watch the evening news on one of the big three networks and leave us alone!

People might could use a little good news these days. Do you really want to hear more belly-aching about the economy or who is going to be the President next, or what's the matter with today's youth, and why can't things be like they used to be? Well, let me tell you something Johnny, these days are the best days. We here in the United States enjoy a level of prosperity and comfort never, ever known before in the entire history of the world. We've got it easy! I have it easy! You have it easy, too! So celebrate some people being in love and get over it!

That's probably the most gratuitous use of exclamation marks this blog has seen. Oh, what the heck. Let's add one more!

My kids are healthy. My family is healthy. I've got a good house and a couple reliable vehicles. I live in the United States in the great state of Kansas in a county named for one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence (Ben Franklin). I've got Netflix and wireless internet, what more do I need?

In the words of Navin R. Johnson, the Jerk, played by Steve Martin:

Navin R. Johnson: Well I'm gonna to go then! And I don't need any of this. I don't need this stuff, and I don't need *you*. I don't need anything. Except this.
[picks up an ashtray]
Navin R. Johnson: And that's the only thing I need is *this*. I don't need this or this. Just this ashtray... And this paddle game. - The ashtray and the paddle game and that's all I need... And this remote control. - The ashtray, the paddle game, and the remote control, and that's all I need... And these matches. - The ashtray, and these matches, and the remote control, and the paddle ball... And this lamp. - The ashtray, this paddle game, and the remote control, and the lamp, and that's all *I* need. And that's *all* I need too. I don't need one other thing, not one... I need this. - The paddle game and the chair, and the remote control, and the matches for sure. Well what are you looking at? What do you think I'm some kind of a jerk or something! - And this. That's all I need.
[walking outside]
Navin R. Johnson: The ashtray, the remote control, the paddle game, and this magazine, and the chair.
Navin R. Johnson: [outside now] And I don't need one other thing, except my dog.
[Shithead growls at him]
Navin R. Johnson: I don't need my dog.